Future in Planning: My Funeral

Yesterday, we had attend a funeral of a distant relative.

In our bloodline, most are traditional chinese.

When I was told that we are going to attend a funeral,

Joss sticks was one of the first things that popped into my head.

I'll be paying my respects, but I don't want to hold a joss stick.

It kills my zealousness for God.

I was thinking of how to tell my parents 

and get away with not holding the joss sticks till the very last minute 

and I entered the room.

I give my thanks to you, Mr Lee. 

And of course, Thank God.

It is like a semi-christian funeral. No joss stick.

I have been informed that Mr Lee is a free thinker, 

But looking at the set, you must have like Jesus too.

Although I am not sure how close you are to Him, 

I pray that you are with Him now, at peace.

Through the wake, I realised that my family don't really know anything about a Christian funeral.

Makes me worried....

I'm going to plan my funeral as if it is my wedding.

Because I truly believe that God loves me.

When I die, I'll be dying in this earthly body in His timing.

I'll be going back home to God.

And to me, it is an event to rejoice.

Even more so than my actual wedding itself. (If I ever gets married)

Because I am the only Chirstian in my family, (I'm praying for family converts)

I thought that I should at least leave some instructions behind if God decides to bring me home earlier,

for my quite clueless-about-Christ-and-inclined-to-be-a-little-bit-traditional family.

To be honest, I too do not know what a proper Christian funeral is like, 

I'll just do it my way.

And hopefully, God approves of it.

Firstly, the "No,thanks".

No joss sticks

No burning incense

No chanting

No ahmitoufuo

I want a funeral that honours my God.

I heard that instead of joss sticks, people offer flowers.

I love flowers. =]

And a bible would be placed on the front table.

Also, some things I like, Choppar? Maybe???

Secondly, the timings.

Let's have a ceremony.

If it is on a weekday, then around 8PM.

If it is on a weekend, then around 1PM.

Really hoped that the people who matters to me can attend.

I would like to give a last speech and thank them for the wonderful life I have had. 

(Not directly from me, maybe my sister can read it out for me. Mun Please?)

I should be hiding what I wanted to say somewhere in my room.

I shouldn't be boastful but I'm really awesome at hide and seek.

I just hope that someone will find it before the ceremony.

=P

hmm... I have seen in movies that you give affirmation to the dead.

Yup, we should do that too.

But I rather you say it to me while I'm still healthy and breathing.

Again, my family, I don't think they know what to do for this section.

It would be great if a brother or sister in Christ could lead this part.

Thirdly, the venue.

Just under the block or the multi-purpose hall will do.

Traditional chinese furnerals would last at least 3 to 7 days.

But seriously? 

If you can prepare and have the ceremony within 1 day, 

I think that's all I need.

The tomb and table, flowers and a bible.

Chairs for visitors and drinks by the side.

Some fans around. 

Yup, one day is enough.

Besides, in singapore where weather is hot and humid not matter what season it is,

I don't think that the body can be kept long.

And no matter if it is work or school, I don't want to keep my family from what they were doing.

And don't waste too much money on the funeral.

I don't want a air-coned tomb. Not necessary in my opinion.

Just put a pack of plain water beside me in the tomb.

I have heard people waking up for a glass of water and I don't want to scared you if I do that too.

So I'll just find the water beside me for a drink and try not to bother you.

Fourthly, the people.

I'll keep a list of guest around.

And probably their contact information too.

It should be around somewhere in the room.

Lastly.

After the cremation, I think it would be best to throw away the ashes.

I've thought before of throwing it into the sea, but it would cause pollution.

And I don't think it is legal.

I don't want it to be kept at a temple, like my ancestors.

How many times must I emphsize that I am a Christian?

I think it's creepy to keep it at home...

So just throw it away.

Since I don't think it'll be needed anyway.

Just in case if you are wondering as you read this post,

I am not going to commit sucide.

So although I'm thankful, please don't worry about me.

And this post is for the benefit of my family if I were to leave before them.

I just pray that I will be able to complete what He wants me to do before time's up.

I pray that if I had a sudden death, the people around me would be happy for me to gain a perfect life eternally instead of focusing over the lost of my time here on earth.

I also, pray that that people I know, I'll see them again in Heaven.

Well, this is if I die before Jesus comes back the second time.

God bless.

=]

P.U.S.H. (pray until something happens)

Previously, I mentioned that I am a Christian.

And I'm proud to be one too.

I wasn't born a Christian though.

Being in a-little-more-traditional-Singaporean-Chinese family, I was born, raised and taught as a Buddhist.

We have to burn incense to our ancestors before every meal, go to visit the temples.

Burn an exam charm my mom bought, mix it with water and drink it the night before our exams.

When I was younger, my parents would send my siblings and I for Buddhist Scripture studies (in Chinese) every Sunday.

In fact, I was brought up as an anti-Christ.

We would always be warned about befriending any Christians and we are told that the church would always tell you to give offerings.

They are bad people, who give more to the church than their parents.

Since for Buddhist, filial piety is the most important out of other virtues. Naturally, they are deemed as unfilial.

Not that I want to dishonour the one who taught me these things, I believe she has her reasons for believing such.

And I think she truly does not know what she is saying.

Thank goodness that God found me back.

I started following Christ about 2 years ago.

I didn't tell anyone at all. Not my parents, not my siblings.

That time, I knew the prosecution will be too overwhelming for a new believer like me.

And I am very very easily swayed.

I knew my mom is not going to be happy at all, knowing I defied all that she has taught me.

I always have the mentality that I would have to pack my bag, probably, and live with my friends for a while.

And thank God that I have a bunch of awesome friends who supports me. =]

The prosecution didn’t come. I didn’t have to leave the house.

Mostly, because I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t have the guts to.

As time passes, I could only pray that in God's timing, it will be revealed.

Many times, I went home from church determined to tell them the truth.

But it never came to pass. (Yes, Coward!)

My sibling found out that I have been going to church, but I think they only thought I was visiting.

Then one day, I went to visit my grandma. She suddenly popped out that question.

And I couldn't lie anymore.

Thank God that she wasn't as an extremist as my mom.

And the truth is, I wanted to tell someone so badly.

I was so at peace when I went home that night.

Finally, I wasn’t hiding my God away.

I only told my siblings and my dad, after I got water baptised a few months later.

My brother likes to say that we are Buddhist only because my mother thinks so.

It wasn't a supportive opinion, neither is it a discouraging one.

Thank god for them for not having too much of a reaction.

Because I'm a real sensitive person, I would definitely have wavered if they have opposed at that time.

Sometime later, I think my mom found out.

She started topics hinting her hatred for Christians.

My aunts even came to talk to me.

There's one time, we were having dinner as a family with my brother's girlfriend.

My mom was saying that her enemy works one floor above her.

Yes, she was referring to Christians.

Imagine my mother treating me as enemy.

I couldn't do anything. I couldn't say anything.

I was damned scared of her.

Thank god for my brother. Well, he didn't exactly defend Christians, but he did defend our rights to believe in something.

And I am glad that my brother spoke out what I couldn't.

I’ll always be thinking back, why didn’t I do better to armour barrier my God.

Always feel undeserving to be at service, in the presence of God.

Always praying that I would one day, finally be able to stand firm and stand proud.

Telling my family that I'm going to meet my church friends, and that I'm going for service.

I felt that my burden was snatched away from my shoulders and it was smacked hard into the ground.

My mom came clear that she knew of my belief when we had a quarrel recently.

And ever since then, she tried avoiding me so much that she didn’t even bother to look at me.

I'm not sure if it is because I have been preparing myself all these time that it didn’t affect me as negatively as I thought it would. But one thing I know for sure.

This is God's plan, His timing. And it couldn't be any better.

It’s a relief to have such a reliable backing. 终于可以松一口气.

Of course, it still hurts. Who wouldn't if your mother is being indifferent to you?

But ever since that time, when I was crying in the bathroom after my mom blatantly ignored me for the first time, the chill of being denied by my own parent.

God convicted me in my heart that I have come far.

I have grown so much and I am still growing!

I am glad, that I am a baby step closer to who He had created me to be.

I pray that I'll stand firm, because my God is faithful.

Even if my parents fail me, my Heavenly Father will not.

My God loves me, very very much.

And I want to love Him back.

Also, I pray for all those who have a disagreeable relationship with their mothers.

God had called us to honour our parents, to love them as God love us.

I pray for patience, though sometimes we may be short on temper and end up quarrelling with them.

God, remind us that you are a patience God and help us with our patience.

I pray for your godly intervenes, that for those who need a miracle, you shall without doubt be there for them.

I pray for soften-hearts, that you’ll break down the barrier that’s separating them, for mother and child alike.

God, I also pray for my brothers and sisters who claim your name, that they’ll remain their childlike faith for you, and know that you have great plans for them and their families.

We know that you’ll always be with us, even though we may feel that you are far away.

We know that you’ll always be watching us, wanting to pour your blessings upon us.

We thank you God, for your grace and never failing love.

In Jesus’ name, Amen!

Hello, world!

Just when I thought I should post something, blogger changed.
It's ok though~

I wanted to create a new blog anyway.
A fresh new start, with a fresh new mindset.

This new blog, I want to be able to share my life with you.
Because I know that there are many people out there struggling and I'm not sure but you might be one of them.
I want to share my life with you, so that hopefully, you can be encouraged.
That life is not as bad as we sometimes make it to be.
Not that I live a perfect life, I have my struggles too, but I think it would be good, if we can have people spurring us, encouraging us, understanding us.

Life is a journey, and we can't live alone.

Thus, I shall start sharing with you my life.
Sharing life one post at a time, being transparent in an awesome way.




So.... I should probably start with sharing myself.
My name is Jovey, I have just graduated recently from my polytechnic with a Diploma of Logistics and Operations Management. I was a business student.
And now I got a full time job in the same field.

I am a Christian, and I love my God. =]
I am a Singaporean, speak English and Chinese, and in the midst of learning Japanese.

I am lazy, don't like to clean up. There'll always a pile of books or clothes on my bed.
I don't like bugs, doctors and unreasonable customers.
I don't like being in the dark.

I like reading, writing and drawing. I like art and music.
I like eating and cooking. I like manga, anime and cosplaying.
I like my make up kit. I like things that are in rainbow colors.
I like to sleep with a blanket, no matter how hot the day is.

I like writing more than speaking.
I like discussions more than conversations.
I like dresses more than pants.
I like youtube more than any other websites.
I like beer more than wine.

I have awesome friends and lots of cute little cousins.

=]



I shall post again.